No, it wasn't the PBR and great company that kept me up last night. It's the impending move. I want to stomp my foot - Veruka Salt Style - and say "No, I don't wanna". I love my little oasis that is A428. It still smells new and i have artwork I haven't even hung yet. Sigh.
The carpet is lovely and new still - the blue stain in the bathroom was caused by yours truly. The refrigerator smells like tofu and the construction dust on the floor is mixed with MY hair. MINE. I love my annoyingly hipster neighbors, my mailbox that never gets anything but catalogues. I DON'T WANNA.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Saturday Office Coverage
I'm sitting in my office - at my desk - on a SATURDAY. This isn't fun. We rotate through managers, one of us has to be here on Saturdays. Today is my day. I didn't shower. I reapplied mascara over yesterday's smuges and I'm bitter. Buttttt - I haven't written in a long time. And now, with nothing else to do and the endless world of facebook seemingly exhausted, I am blogging. Novel concept for someone who supposedly does this regularly. I am feeling pretty good lately. I have been getting along swimingly with the parents...amazing what changes when I can once again pay my own rent. Shantae is doing well, she putts around just fine. I've been lucky to have a good girlfriend move back from LaLa Land and we have been hanging out a lot. Danny moves back this weekend...and voila! The Rebranding of moi is manageable.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Letter to new brides
Bride to be:
First and foremost – CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement! Although I know you think this is “the happiest time in your life”, you are sorely mistaken. In fact, more than half of US marriages end in divorce these days. You and your fiancé will most likely join those ranks. But, if you are insistent on getting married, I hope you are ready to spend lonely nights waiting for your man to come home. Chances are he will be out philandering with strippers, cocktail waitresses and other hussies. You probably will end up sniffing his shirts, picking up traces of dime store knockoff CK1.
The best part will be when you catch crabs from your cheating hubby. At first you will be too embarrassed to confront him about it – but after a few glasses (or bottles) of wine alone on a Friday night, when your husband is “working late”, you will work up the courage to confront him. He will deny it, you will cry and beg for the truth. Trust me, you don’t want to know.
If you are stilllllll considering marrying this guy, take a gander at the enclosed packet. All the deets are outlined in there. Let’s meet about 6 weeks before your “big day” to discuss linen colors, etc. Other than that, please don’t bother me. Your event is NOT the biggest thing to ever happen at the Lodge. Honestly. Your final numbers are due 5 business days before your blessed union. No exceptions. I don’t care how important you think you are. I am not excited about spending my “day off” at your party. Sorry, but it’s the truth.
Late-skies,
Catering Sales Manager
First and foremost – CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement! Although I know you think this is “the happiest time in your life”, you are sorely mistaken. In fact, more than half of US marriages end in divorce these days. You and your fiancé will most likely join those ranks. But, if you are insistent on getting married, I hope you are ready to spend lonely nights waiting for your man to come home. Chances are he will be out philandering with strippers, cocktail waitresses and other hussies. You probably will end up sniffing his shirts, picking up traces of dime store knockoff CK1.
The best part will be when you catch crabs from your cheating hubby. At first you will be too embarrassed to confront him about it – but after a few glasses (or bottles) of wine alone on a Friday night, when your husband is “working late”, you will work up the courage to confront him. He will deny it, you will cry and beg for the truth. Trust me, you don’t want to know.
If you are stilllllll considering marrying this guy, take a gander at the enclosed packet. All the deets are outlined in there. Let’s meet about 6 weeks before your “big day” to discuss linen colors, etc. Other than that, please don’t bother me. Your event is NOT the biggest thing to ever happen at the Lodge. Honestly. Your final numbers are due 5 business days before your blessed union. No exceptions. I don’t care how important you think you are. I am not excited about spending my “day off” at your party. Sorry, but it’s the truth.
Late-skies,
Catering Sales Manager
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Today I realized...
* I am a child of God.
* I am running on too short of a fuse. I need to be patient with those around me. The world is my oyster, yes, but no one died and made me the Queen of Sheba.
* My mind is made up...I am ready to take on the loneliness of my rebrand mission.
* Inevitably, I reach the discreet elevator landing at work just as some random hotel guest rips ass. Stinky, awkward chatter ensues..."how is your stay?" "let us know if there is anything we can do to improve your experience"... How about "wtf did you eat for dinner, mister?" "Are you feeling okay?"...
* Life is a GIANT rollercoaster...but all in all, it ain't so bad.
* I am running on too short of a fuse. I need to be patient with those around me. The world is my oyster, yes, but no one died and made me the Queen of Sheba.
* My mind is made up...I am ready to take on the loneliness of my rebrand mission.
* Inevitably, I reach the discreet elevator landing at work just as some random hotel guest rips ass. Stinky, awkward chatter ensues..."how is your stay?" "let us know if there is anything we can do to improve your experience"... How about "wtf did you eat for dinner, mister?" "Are you feeling okay?"...
* Life is a GIANT rollercoaster...but all in all, it ain't so bad.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Grrr...
I have forgotten how painful Friday afternoons are. Not an ounce of motivation. Facebook. Ipod. Cell phone. Blskrhtoeockhg.e
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Things I know...
* Frozen Peas are amazing.
* I have a definite crush on the guy I took to my Sadie Hawkins dance a good 11 years ago.
* I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning. So I am forced to wake up early, shave my legs and self tan. Damn it.
* I am missing my "all day chats" with my Gchat buddy. Surprising someone who I barely know at all can know me better than most in my life. Perhaps some version of anonymity breeds honesty.
* I have been in bed every night before 9. Yay, middle aged-ness. You are rapidly approaching.
* David Sedaris, the Dalai Lama, Anthony Bourdain. I love my current books.
* I have a definite crush on the guy I took to my Sadie Hawkins dance a good 11 years ago.
* I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning. So I am forced to wake up early, shave my legs and self tan. Damn it.
* I am missing my "all day chats" with my Gchat buddy. Surprising someone who I barely know at all can know me better than most in my life. Perhaps some version of anonymity breeds honesty.
* I have been in bed every night before 9. Yay, middle aged-ness. You are rapidly approaching.
* David Sedaris, the Dalai Lama, Anthony Bourdain. I love my current books.
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