Bride to be:
First and foremost – CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement! Although I know you think this is “the happiest time in your life”, you are sorely mistaken. In fact, more than half of US marriages end in divorce these days. You and your fiancé will most likely join those ranks. But, if you are insistent on getting married, I hope you are ready to spend lonely nights waiting for your man to come home. Chances are he will be out philandering with strippers, cocktail waitresses and other hussies. You probably will end up sniffing his shirts, picking up traces of dime store knockoff CK1.
The best part will be when you catch crabs from your cheating hubby. At first you will be too embarrassed to confront him about it – but after a few glasses (or bottles) of wine alone on a Friday night, when your husband is “working late”, you will work up the courage to confront him. He will deny it, you will cry and beg for the truth. Trust me, you don’t want to know.
If you are stilllllll considering marrying this guy, take a gander at the enclosed packet. All the deets are outlined in there. Let’s meet about 6 weeks before your “big day” to discuss linen colors, etc. Other than that, please don’t bother me. Your event is NOT the biggest thing to ever happen at the Lodge. Honestly. Your final numbers are due 5 business days before your blessed union. No exceptions. I don’t care how important you think you are. I am not excited about spending my “day off” at your party. Sorry, but it’s the truth.
Late-skies,
Catering Sales Manager
First and foremost – CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement! Although I know you think this is “the happiest time in your life”, you are sorely mistaken. In fact, more than half of US marriages end in divorce these days. You and your fiancé will most likely join those ranks. But, if you are insistent on getting married, I hope you are ready to spend lonely nights waiting for your man to come home. Chances are he will be out philandering with strippers, cocktail waitresses and other hussies. You probably will end up sniffing his shirts, picking up traces of dime store knockoff CK1.
The best part will be when you catch crabs from your cheating hubby. At first you will be too embarrassed to confront him about it – but after a few glasses (or bottles) of wine alone on a Friday night, when your husband is “working late”, you will work up the courage to confront him. He will deny it, you will cry and beg for the truth. Trust me, you don’t want to know.
If you are stilllllll considering marrying this guy, take a gander at the enclosed packet. All the deets are outlined in there. Let’s meet about 6 weeks before your “big day” to discuss linen colors, etc. Other than that, please don’t bother me. Your event is NOT the biggest thing to ever happen at the Lodge. Honestly. Your final numbers are due 5 business days before your blessed union. No exceptions. I don’t care how important you think you are. I am not excited about spending my “day off” at your party. Sorry, but it’s the truth.
Late-skies,
Catering Sales Manager
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